2003-12-01 9:42 p.m.
Serenity NOW, motherfuckers!

Today, while I was at work, my Steve called me to inform me that his one day off this week has turned out to be not the same day as my one day off this week (yeah, you all, especially Cassey, know exactly where this goddamn entry is going). So I hung up the phone and proceeded to enter the beginning stages of what is known to those in my general vicinity as a Towering Rage, which occur rather frequently when something goes awry while I am at my job (you have been banished to Fiddle's Wally Mart, the Tenth Circle of Hell, where you will for all eternity be surrounded by hordes of drooling imbeciles, perpetually asking "Is this regular or decaf?", where the unquenchable desire for overtime pay will forever be unfulfilled!). BUT, as the oaths and obscenities began to take form on my tongue, my boss happened to wander into my view. Lucky him. So, through clenched teeth, with my fingernails turning my palms a whiter shade of pale, I tenaciously but calmly asked if I might please have Thursday (the day my Steve's bossman has deemed his One Day Off This Week) off. His reply? "Yeah, sure, I can give you Thursday off." Well, somebody must be gettin' blowjobs in the back room, because such readily given generosity is entirely unheard of in that horrid place. Boom! Fists unclenched, jaw relaxed, body temperature back to normal. You know when a baby is screeching uncontrollably and the minute you stick a bottle in its mouth there's instant peace? That's how I felt. And I don't even have to work Wednesday to make up for having Thursday off. Fuck you, overtime!

Oh, and one last thing...

A message to you assholes in your Camaros or other such rear wheel drive vehicles: I will forgive your asinine behavior this time, as this inclement weather today was not exactly expected, but the next time you decide to do donuts (or otherwise retarded vehicular antics to prove that yes, your balls are the biggest balls ever displayed in the entire known universe) in my parking lot and come even remotely close to my car again, I will turn your blood to dirt.

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